23 June 2005

And all of the sudden, they are blue

Yesterday, when I came home in the afternoon, I was able to hold Collette for a while. Her eyes were open and playful. Laura claims that she can now smile and I was dilligently trying to get to her to smile at me. But no such luck came my way. I think she immitated my Ooos, but no smile. Then I realized, her eyes are blue!

Photo from the pool with her eyes:

This is new. When Collette was born her eyes had a dark color to them. They gradually became lighter to a grey/slate color. Every now and then Laura and I would guess on the color of her eyes. Sometimes we thought they would turn out brown, other times blues or even hazel. It is so funny how they change. And how the way we see them change. It amazes me that quality of light defines what you see.

A day previous, Laura had taken Collette into our pediatrician regarding the possibility of having GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease or acid reflux). Not only does she spit up a lot, she’ll often kind of gags on her phlem. Yummy. The nurse ordered an upper GI to be done by a radiologist.

But that’s not all. Upon listening to her heart she noticed a murmur. A what? The sound a defective heart valve makes? Yup, a murmur. Though this is the first time Elizabeth (our regular pediatric nurse) saw Collette, Collette had been checked out three different times by two different doctors, and neither noticed this. Can murmurs develop? So, we also have a referral to a cardiologist.

Wait! That white stuff in her mouth isn’t milk spit up. It’s thrush. After the visit, we now have to take Collette to two new doctor’s appointment and adminster two medications. Thrush is a mouth yeast infection—antibiotics for that (4x a day) and then there’s the stuff for GERD (2x a day). Giving mediaction to kids sucks, but we hope that all this helps her feel better. Elizabeth isn’t even worried that Collette hasn’t gained weight in the past week (eek!).

According to the doctors, all this isn’t stuff to get too worried about. But that’s what we’re here for, to worry. In some way it has made both Laura and I attached to Collette more. I mean, we’re not “baby people.” It was the same way with Abigail. Upon birth we felt no overwhelming sense of love towards the baby. Though there is a profound sense of responsibility, affection occurs when the baby can do something. Babies don’t do much. They start to get real fun for us as they start to do stuff (smile, coo, talk, walk, etc. . .). As we got to know Abigail, we fell in love with her. The same, we assumed, would be true for Collette. But this string of abnormalities has really deepened our awareness of Collette’s needs. We feel the need to really take care of her. It has mad us closer to her at this point and makes me realize we need to do a lot more for Collette than just feed and change her.